Dear friend,
I want to talk about two terrible moves we make at work, moves that hold us back, diminish others, and waste everyone’s potential. Being nice, and being nasty. They look like opposites, but they belong to the same game: dominating, and avoiding being dominated.
Being nice delays the inevitable. Being nasty promotes the unthinkable. Being nice is overrated, and it will not get you far; it may be the very thing holding you back. Contrary to what most people think, being nice is not a personality trait. It is a mood, an opinion shaped by the fear that if you are not nice, people will not like you and your future will suffer. Nice people tolerate nonsense, suffer in silence, and miss the chance to make a difference. Life asks for authenticity and courage, not a permanent strategy of niceness.
And being nasty is just that, nasty. It is an attempt to bully others into submission. But karma is real, and those who live by the sword tend to die by it. The world has had its fill of bullies. Nastiness wins no loyalty and no care; it earns a bad name, and people will betray you at the first opportunity they get.
Let me offer you two other moves that will give you a real advantage in the game of life: being kind, and being direct. Being kind is not the same as being nice. Being direct is not the same as being nasty. To be kind and direct at once is to be full of care, for yourself and for the others in the game, and it gives you a far better chance of winning hearts, minds, and a power that lasts.
Time spent being nice and suffering in silence is time wasted. Stop tolerating nonsense and squandering your hours and theirs. Kill being nice. Time spent being nasty is time spent on mutual destruction. Quit being nasty.
With thanks to my friend Darrel Rhea, who provoked me to take on the flip side, being nasty, in the same breath.
With care,Saqib