Dear friend,
Today I want to take on a difficult subject: arrogance. What it is, where it comes from, and how to deal with it.
Arrogance is assigning the utmost importance to your own opinion without concern for what others might find valuable or reasonable. It insists on being right and refuses the possibility of another perspective. It is confidence in your own preparation without ever listening for what you might be missing. The arrogant person believes wholeheartedly that their view is the only correct one, and leaves no room for an alternative. The result is an inability to listen and to work with others, and the deeper damage is the disrespect and toxicity it spreads, which breeds resignation and wastes potential, opportunity, and power.
It is natural to be angry at arrogant people, but anger solves nothing and usually makes it worse. Confront an arrogant person in front of others and you tend to harden them; public humiliation almost never works. This calls for care, concern, and courage. There is no precise recipe I can hand you. I will show you some moves, but when and how you make them depends on your skill, the people, and the situation.
The first move is to own your own arrogance. We all have our moments of it. Begin by looking at where you have been a “sure person” without enough conversation, listening, or preparation. Owning your own arrogance opens space for the other to do the same. It takes you out of the game of defending your identity and into the game of what really matters.
The second is to acknowledge the other person’s view and invite them to listen. Do not rush to prove them wrong. Acknowledge that their view may be valid, at least for them, and ask whether they would be open to seeing another angle. Point out that, for the sake of shared success, there may be a need for mutual listening. Often they are not even aware that they have stopped listening.
The third is to disrupt arrogance when it crosses into disrespect. Then you have an obligation to speak, even at the risk of the relationship. You might say: for the well-being of this team and our ability to work together, you cannot dismiss other views as though only yours matters; your opinion is not a self-evident truth, it is one perspective. There is risk in saying it, but without that risk there is no new future.
Respect does not mean agreeing with everything. It means staying open to the other person’s view as possibly valid for them, even when you disagree. Mutual respect is the foundation of all real work and relationship. Without it, arrogance poisons the room, and without disrupting it, you put the shared future of the whole group at risk. So for the sake of that future, and everyone’s well-being, say something.
With care,Saqib